im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
