I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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