So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
