His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize