God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
