I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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