So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
