I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
