I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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