I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
