ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
