p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
