You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
