can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
