No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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