I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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