Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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