from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
