your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Randomize
