I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
