my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He felt like a one man threesome
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
there is puke in my bra ... again
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
