How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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