the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize