OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
