Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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