Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
