I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
