I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
