sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
