I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
