Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
