so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
