After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
sex in a hospital.. check
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize