i just had sex bonerless
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
