is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
