u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
