can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
