I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Farmville is her only friend.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize