i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
