Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize