i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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