So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
