we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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