it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
