can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
