This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Success! We fucked roommates!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
