Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
