I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
MIDGETS
????
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
