Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
