I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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