Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
