You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
