If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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