Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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