I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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