I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize