Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
