can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
