I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
