turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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