this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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